Friday, April 10, 2015
Showers for Baby Girl Reynolds
In March, I was blessed to have not just one, but TWO amazing baby showers! One was in the DC area and was thrown by my Aunt Beth and my Mom. It was attended with mostly family and had a special appearance by Ellen Marini who I was privileged to finally be touching baby bumps with (she is pregnant with her 4th). I enjoyed spending time with my sister-in-law Katy and getting to see cousins and aunts who I haven't seen for a long time! My Aunt Peggy (my Mom's BFF since college) blessed me with a fun tricycle diaper cake (how creative!!) and Aunt Beth's newly remodeled kitchen provided the perfect backdrop for a beautiful celebration.
In Greensboro, my small group girls, consisting of Emily Trader, Emily Tinsley, Jamie Springer, Liz Hinshaw, and Jenny Tinder, threw me a wonderful and very emotional shower to celebrate our upcoming addition to the Reynolds clan. My shower in Greensboro had lots of time to reflect on the tough journey that Jamie and I took to get to this place and had lots of happy tears. I woke up extra early the morning of to spend some quiet time in prayer in the nursery. Tears were flowing as I sat in thankful awe of all that God had done and imagined just how far he carried me over the last few years. My mom drove down from DC and she started falling apart only minutes within walking in the door and meeting my sweet friends. She was told "well now I know where Emily gets it from"....sooooo true!! My mother-in-law (Momma Terry), sister-in-law, and niece (Gianna) were able to make it in from the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Momma Terry gave the sweetest speech. Let me just say that I seriously lucked out in the mother-in-law department!! Katie Nash came down from Virginia, past students turned good friends came, my boss and girlfriend from RCC was there, and friends of all ages from church attended! The women who prayed with me through infertility said such heartfelt things. Through many conversations everyone agreed that Jamie was going to be a great daddy!!
Between both showers I was extremely blessed with so many things that we really needed and lots of fun gifts too! When I say blessed....I mean almost embarrassingly so! Every shower I came home from, I would have Jamie unload the gifts and you should have seen the look on his face at the sheer amount of baby stuff we were gifted with. But what I am truly most overwhelmed by is how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends and family who have supported us through such a hard time and who now are celebrating with us as we prepare to welcome this very wanted and loved baby girl into the world.
Monday, March 16, 2015
Dream A Little Dream With Me...
So just this past Tuesday I hit the start of my 3rd trimester! Wow! It seems like it is going by so fast and so slow all at the same time! I can't believe how much the baby is moving! Jamie has started being able to see her move from the outside.
A few weeks ago a friend recommended that I share all of my crazy pregnancy dreams. So here are a few! Warning these make absolutely no sense, but prepare to be amused!
I had a dream where I...
...was dating Matthew McConaughey. Jamie didn't exist in this dream. But anyways....Matthew lived on an old trolley car (which was kind of cool), but I wasn't really that into him so of course I was forced to break it off. In the end, we decided it was better to be friends who occasionally made out. What? Like you have control over all your dreams! Lol.
...lived in a war zone and was on a mission to save this girl who was being kept hostage in a dog kennel. I arrived at the house where she was being kept, but had to pretend to ignore her and be a confidant of the people keeping her hostage. In the end, I escaped with her somehow, though the details are fuzzy on exactly how that happened. Later, I was preparing to go into battle and I remember being really nervous. There was a large rolling cart of mattresses that I was standing on as this rolling cart was whizzing through cobblestone streets, I was holding a flame thrower along with two other leader-type guys and we were about to be entering into a battle zone.
...hmm...how do I describe this one? I had a period of time when I was progesterone support and I noticed that I had really dark scary dreams when I was on the progesterone pills, anywho....Basically, I was on this farm where a Bam Margera type character was torturing all of these cattle with his friends...breaking their legs and laughing about it...really sick stuff like that. The dream felt very demonic. Somehow I managed to get a hold of a gun and I shot all of the bad guys, but then I had to shoot the animals that were suffering because that was the humane thing to do.
...was administering an exam to my class, which had about 100 students in it. We only had a 50 minute class period for this very long exam, so I was already stressing out. After I opened up class, I asked the students if they had any questions before I gave out the exam. Over 15 students raised their hand. Sensing that a lot of them were trying to toy with the time constraints of the exam, I re-phrased my question to say "Does anyone have concepts from the book that you have questions about?" Everyone's hands went down. "Great! Let's gets started." A magical helper appeared and assisted me in handing out the exams. During the end of the exam, the students were suppose to go out in the hallway and refer to a set of informative posters to answer the last few questions on the test (I don't know...lol). Well students started filtering out into the hallway, BUT there was this school gang that had chains and they were forcing my students into this warehouse for gang initiations. When I tried to see where my students were being led off to, I myself got led away by the gang too. Scared to death of what I was about to see, I was pleasantly surprised to find that this gang was teaching students about an online business adventure where they sold baby clothes through a website (can you tell I was doing too much online baby shopping during this period?). The demonstration included robots selecting items off of racks for orders and placing them in shipping boxes.
...was in a room with all mirrors and I was waiting to meet the Emperor. There was lots of interior details that I was oooing and awwing over.
...was at a 25 week ob appointment getting a check-up on the baby and I sneezed! I sneezed so hard that the baby shot out of me! I laid her down on some table was trying to get a nurse to help me so we could get her over to a NICU as soon as possible.
...that there was a plus-size model who was making fun of how big my hips were getting. In my dream, I was really offended and crying profusely. When I woke up, I was really shaken up about it. Feeling very self conscious, I told Jamie who was half out of it. He reached over as I was laying on my side, touched what he thought was my belly and said "Is that your baby belly?" I started crying (in real life) and said "THAT'S MY HIP!!" Oh pregnancy hormones!!!
...was at my mother-in-laws house giving birth. There were lots of people around me and I didn't really care. When she was born, she was covered in dirt and coffee grinds. My sister-in-law (Amy) and one of Jamie's cousins went with Jamie to wash the dirt off of her in the shower. Jamie came out of the shower and we embraced each other and started crying because we couldn't believe we finally had a baby and were parents. They brought the baby over to us and she had super chiseled model cheeks that were very pink, like she had on lots of blush, but they were all natural. Then my mother-in-law was trying to get everyone to clean up the house so she could host a viewing party for people to come see our new little edition.
Those are just a few! I am pretty glad that the period of me being on progesterone pills is over. Though I slept really really deeply, I had a lot of nightmares on those pills.
I have a feeling the closer I get to her due date that I will have more and more dreams about delivery, which I am kind of excited about. Stay tuned! A lot of really fun updates are coming to the blog including pictures from baby showers, details about our babymoon, and, the post I am most looking forward to, giving you guys a tour of the babies room when it is finished!!!
A few weeks ago a friend recommended that I share all of my crazy pregnancy dreams. So here are a few! Warning these make absolutely no sense, but prepare to be amused!
I had a dream where I...
...was dating Matthew McConaughey. Jamie didn't exist in this dream. But anyways....Matthew lived on an old trolley car (which was kind of cool), but I wasn't really that into him so of course I was forced to break it off. In the end, we decided it was better to be friends who occasionally made out. What? Like you have control over all your dreams! Lol.
...lived in a war zone and was on a mission to save this girl who was being kept hostage in a dog kennel. I arrived at the house where she was being kept, but had to pretend to ignore her and be a confidant of the people keeping her hostage. In the end, I escaped with her somehow, though the details are fuzzy on exactly how that happened. Later, I was preparing to go into battle and I remember being really nervous. There was a large rolling cart of mattresses that I was standing on as this rolling cart was whizzing through cobblestone streets, I was holding a flame thrower along with two other leader-type guys and we were about to be entering into a battle zone.
...hmm...how do I describe this one? I had a period of time when I was progesterone support and I noticed that I had really dark scary dreams when I was on the progesterone pills, anywho....Basically, I was on this farm where a Bam Margera type character was torturing all of these cattle with his friends...breaking their legs and laughing about it...really sick stuff like that. The dream felt very demonic. Somehow I managed to get a hold of a gun and I shot all of the bad guys, but then I had to shoot the animals that were suffering because that was the humane thing to do.
...was administering an exam to my class, which had about 100 students in it. We only had a 50 minute class period for this very long exam, so I was already stressing out. After I opened up class, I asked the students if they had any questions before I gave out the exam. Over 15 students raised their hand. Sensing that a lot of them were trying to toy with the time constraints of the exam, I re-phrased my question to say "Does anyone have concepts from the book that you have questions about?" Everyone's hands went down. "Great! Let's gets started." A magical helper appeared and assisted me in handing out the exams. During the end of the exam, the students were suppose to go out in the hallway and refer to a set of informative posters to answer the last few questions on the test (I don't know...lol). Well students started filtering out into the hallway, BUT there was this school gang that had chains and they were forcing my students into this warehouse for gang initiations. When I tried to see where my students were being led off to, I myself got led away by the gang too. Scared to death of what I was about to see, I was pleasantly surprised to find that this gang was teaching students about an online business adventure where they sold baby clothes through a website (can you tell I was doing too much online baby shopping during this period?). The demonstration included robots selecting items off of racks for orders and placing them in shipping boxes.
...was in a room with all mirrors and I was waiting to meet the Emperor. There was lots of interior details that I was oooing and awwing over.
...was at a 25 week ob appointment getting a check-up on the baby and I sneezed! I sneezed so hard that the baby shot out of me! I laid her down on some table was trying to get a nurse to help me so we could get her over to a NICU as soon as possible.
...that there was a plus-size model who was making fun of how big my hips were getting. In my dream, I was really offended and crying profusely. When I woke up, I was really shaken up about it. Feeling very self conscious, I told Jamie who was half out of it. He reached over as I was laying on my side, touched what he thought was my belly and said "Is that your baby belly?" I started crying (in real life) and said "THAT'S MY HIP!!" Oh pregnancy hormones!!!
...was at my mother-in-laws house giving birth. There were lots of people around me and I didn't really care. When she was born, she was covered in dirt and coffee grinds. My sister-in-law (Amy) and one of Jamie's cousins went with Jamie to wash the dirt off of her in the shower. Jamie came out of the shower and we embraced each other and started crying because we couldn't believe we finally had a baby and were parents. They brought the baby over to us and she had super chiseled model cheeks that were very pink, like she had on lots of blush, but they were all natural. Then my mother-in-law was trying to get everyone to clean up the house so she could host a viewing party for people to come see our new little edition.
Those are just a few! I am pretty glad that the period of me being on progesterone pills is over. Though I slept really really deeply, I had a lot of nightmares on those pills.
I have a feeling the closer I get to her due date that I will have more and more dreams about delivery, which I am kind of excited about. Stay tuned! A lot of really fun updates are coming to the blog including pictures from baby showers, details about our babymoon, and, the post I am most looking forward to, giving you guys a tour of the babies room when it is finished!!!
Friday, January 16, 2015
Why Me?
Why me? This is the question I have been asking myself a lot lately. Why am I getting to experience some of the greatest joys in this life? I remember very vividly the sorrow of being single. Now I bask in days with a loving husband...Why me? Going to a fantastic job where I get to teach students about interior design...a career that was long ago just a dream...Why me? Being surrounded by a community of friends and a church that has loved on Jamie and I during some really dark days...why me? And now...being pregnant!!!
To think that God is using me to grow a tiny human....WOW! What an extravagant blessing! I don't deserve this goodness! Sure I love to talk about all of the funny things that this pregnancy is doing to my body, but in my heart I am truly left undone that this is even happening.
At our anatomy ultrasound, I was amazed at all that is going on inside with our baby girl. There is a brain with 2 hemispheres and all the individual parts, a spine, 10 fingers and 10 toes, femur bones for each leg, and I could go on and on. I am reminded of Psalm 139:13.
It is really cool to think that you and I were both formed in our mother's wombs. The human body is fascinating, detailed, delicate, and, yet, so resilient. You and I both started out as an embryo...smaller than a fleck of dust...naked to the human eye. It is astonishing to imagine that my daughter now has ovaries with 7 million eggs! Half of the DNA of ALL of the grandchildren she will EVER have are nestled inside of my womb. Life is so precious and God in His goodness created every single step of this amazing process! Knowing that this is taking place within...all I can ask is why me?
There were many days when I wept because I did not know if this gift would ever be bestowed to me. A few weeks ago, I went to the store to buy prenatal vitamins and as funny as this sounds, it was quite emotional for me. You see I had bought prenatal vitamins for years, hoping that one day I would receive a miracle. Though my obgyn was insistent that I stay on them, buying prenatal vitamins became painful for me because the more bottles I bought over the years, the more sad I became that I was not yet pregnant. It seemed like a waste of money and, more importantly, it was an unwanted reminder that I was infertile. Last year, I bought a huge bottle and prayed "God...please, please, please make the next bottle of prenatal vitamins I purchase be while I am pregnant." So you can see that when I purchased them recently, I was reminded of my answer to prayer. With a smile on my face, brushing tears away in the middle of the family planning aisle at Walgreens I was in thankful awe.
The truth is I don't know or understand why. But I am assured of one thing...His goodness is just as good on the day we get our answer to prayer and just as good on our most beautifully triumphant days as it is on the days we are in painful prayer. As I am caught between an astounding answer to prayer for pregnancy and anxious prayers for the healthy arrival of this child in our arms, I need to be reminded of this myself .
At our anatomy ultrasound, I was amazed at all that is going on inside with our baby girl. There is a brain with 2 hemispheres and all the individual parts, a spine, 10 fingers and 10 toes, femur bones for each leg, and I could go on and on. I am reminded of Psalm 139:13.
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."
Some cute photos of Baby Girl Reynolds from our 16 week ultrasound.
It is really cool to think that you and I were both formed in our mother's wombs. The human body is fascinating, detailed, delicate, and, yet, so resilient. You and I both started out as an embryo...smaller than a fleck of dust...naked to the human eye. It is astonishing to imagine that my daughter now has ovaries with 7 million eggs! Half of the DNA of ALL of the grandchildren she will EVER have are nestled inside of my womb. Life is so precious and God in His goodness created every single step of this amazing process! Knowing that this is taking place within...all I can ask is why me?
There were many days when I wept because I did not know if this gift would ever be bestowed to me. A few weeks ago, I went to the store to buy prenatal vitamins and as funny as this sounds, it was quite emotional for me. You see I had bought prenatal vitamins for years, hoping that one day I would receive a miracle. Though my obgyn was insistent that I stay on them, buying prenatal vitamins became painful for me because the more bottles I bought over the years, the more sad I became that I was not yet pregnant. It seemed like a waste of money and, more importantly, it was an unwanted reminder that I was infertile. Last year, I bought a huge bottle and prayed "God...please, please, please make the next bottle of prenatal vitamins I purchase be while I am pregnant." So you can see that when I purchased them recently, I was reminded of my answer to prayer. With a smile on my face, brushing tears away in the middle of the family planning aisle at Walgreens I was in thankful awe.
"The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy." - Psalm 65:8Songs of joy He is surely due. Yet, I am also flooded with reminders that though my prayer for a pregnancy has been answered, there are many women still praying similar prayers. I am broken hearted over those I know who are still struggling with infertility or the ability to bring children into this world. Often I think, "Weren't they next God? They have more years of trying under their belt than we did or have had more heart wrenching pain with child loss. I am thankful, but I also don't get it." For those of you still in the struggle, my prayer is that you will have mentors through this who really see you and that God answers these deep desires for children.
The truth is I don't know or understand why. But I am assured of one thing...His goodness is just as good on the day we get our answer to prayer and just as good on our most beautifully triumphant days as it is on the days we are in painful prayer. As I am caught between an astounding answer to prayer for pregnancy and anxious prayers for the healthy arrival of this child in our arms, I need to be reminded of this myself .
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." - James 1:17
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." - Hebrews 13:8
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Drumroll Please...Pink or Blue?
Boy oh boy....
Jamie and I couldn't be more excited. We had always dreamed of having a little girl, though I really would have been happy with a boy too. By the time we go into ultrasounds all I want to hear is a healthy heartbeat! We found out just before Christmas and it was fun to tell my parents in person! Can't wait to share an upcoming blog about the design plans for the baby's room!
Jamie and I couldn't be more excited. We had always dreamed of having a little girl, though I really would have been happy with a boy too. By the time we go into ultrasounds all I want to hear is a healthy heartbeat! We found out just before Christmas and it was fun to tell my parents in person! Can't wait to share an upcoming blog about the design plans for the baby's room!
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Waiting for the Ball to Drop...A look back at 2014 and preparing for 2015
Year 2014...man do I feel blessed to have experienced you!! I can't help but think back over the past year and just be in awe of all that has happened. Some of you may remember my blog from February of this year, where I talked about all of the struggles that Jamie and I experienced in 2013. Here is a look back from that blog...
2014 was also the year that we sent our first child (Riley) to heaven and though that was one of the hardest parts of this year, I do feel blessed to know that Riley will never have to deal with the pain of this world and that we have a Savior who is taking better care of him or her than Jamie and I ever could.
My hopes and prayers for 2015 are ones for a healthy child to join our family in May or June. To be quite honest, I am literally petrified of all that could go wrong and counting down the days till I am 24 weeks pregnant, which is the point in a pregnancy where a child could survive if born early. Before every ultrasound, I get extremely nervous. The night before we went in for a 16 week ultrasound to find out the gender, I was crying hysterically because I hadn't felt the baby move in a week and at that point all I wanted to hear was a heartbeat. Thankfully, everything looked good, but I am still very nervous about my anatomy ultrasound coming up in early January. Sometimes I feel like I am waiting for the ball to drop and not the one in Times Square. I guess this means that I am becoming like any normal mother...overprotective and worried about everything! Truthfully, I know that I need to cast all my fears and anxieties on Him, but I am really struggling to do that.
My other prayer for 2015 is that Jamie could get into a place where he has a better work-life balance. Him having a full-time job in accounting and a part-time job in land survey drafting at night has been an amazing blessing financially, but it leaves us with very little time to spend together. Thankfully, he will be greatly cutting back his hours at his part-time job, but he is also gearing up for another tax season ....hence me becoming what they call in the accounting industry as a "tax widow". So all that to say I am looking forward to the end of April when we plan to take a babymoon (a 2nd honeymoon-type trip before the baby comes).
Sooo many people have been so kind in asking how I am feeling...well... I am usually feeling great! Exhausted....but great! The nausea has mostly gone away! THOUGH I will say the food aversions are as bad as they have ever been and smells of meat and garlic still make me lose my cookies. The other day I bought Jamie a can of chicken noodle soup because he was sick, but when he opened it in the kitchen it sent me into a vomiting spell. Also a few weeks ago, I told Jamie to bring home Boston Market, because I knew that I needed some protein, but the smell of that even coming into the house make me violently sick for several hours. So there was poor Jamie eating the Boston Market chicken out under the freezing cold carport...poor guy!!! When we went to go see my family for Christmas, they were gracious enough to have a meat-free house. BUT as long as I stay far away from meat and cooking meat, I feel good. Pregnancy is so crazy! I am still getting frequent migraines, but that is just normal for me and I deal with them the best that I can.
My body is really starting to change and even though I still haven't gained any weight according to the scale, my bump is definitely growing. In the middle of the night if I switch from sleeping on one side to another I can feel the baby tumbling around to settle on the other side. So cool! The miracle of children just amazes me more and more everyday!
Stay tuned for an upcoming announcement on the baby's gender! We can't wait to share!!!
"I am not going to sugar coat it, 2013 was an extremely difficult year for Jamie and I. There were times where we both wished that we could have laid our head down and slept through it. Infertility, struggles with our weight, job loss, unemployment, and months with great financial uncertainty, could basically summarize the year we went through. Every month made us feel more and more raw and exposed. Sometimes the only thing I could muster to pray was "Lord have mercy on us." ...When the ball dropped on New Year's Eve, Jamie and I kissed, wished 2013 good riddance, and agreed that 2014 was going to be our year of hope...So goodbye 2013...I did my best to learn from the path God had us walk through on this really sucky year and I am holding onto hope that 2014 will be our year or at the very least one year closer to Jamie and I growing our family and having the children we so desperately want. Greetings 2014! Howdy! Good to see ya! Let's do this!"The sadness of 2013 really made 2014 so much sweeter!! Here I sit writing this at 18 weeks pregnant (in my 5th month) and with every little baby kick, I cannot help but feel this immense joy. In total, our baby is 5" long, the size of a sweet potato, and now has a complete set of unique fingerprints. How miraculous!!! As Jamie and I were driving to Christmas Eve service, I began crying because I just could not believe that (A) we were blessed to be able to pursue IVF this year, (B) that we got pregnant and still were pregnant, (C) we both had good jobs in our field (sometimes a few too many jobs), and (D) that many of our prayers were being answered.
2014 was also the year that we sent our first child (Riley) to heaven and though that was one of the hardest parts of this year, I do feel blessed to know that Riley will never have to deal with the pain of this world and that we have a Savior who is taking better care of him or her than Jamie and I ever could.
My hopes and prayers for 2015 are ones for a healthy child to join our family in May or June. To be quite honest, I am literally petrified of all that could go wrong and counting down the days till I am 24 weeks pregnant, which is the point in a pregnancy where a child could survive if born early. Before every ultrasound, I get extremely nervous. The night before we went in for a 16 week ultrasound to find out the gender, I was crying hysterically because I hadn't felt the baby move in a week and at that point all I wanted to hear was a heartbeat. Thankfully, everything looked good, but I am still very nervous about my anatomy ultrasound coming up in early January. Sometimes I feel like I am waiting for the ball to drop and not the one in Times Square. I guess this means that I am becoming like any normal mother...overprotective and worried about everything! Truthfully, I know that I need to cast all my fears and anxieties on Him, but I am really struggling to do that.
My other prayer for 2015 is that Jamie could get into a place where he has a better work-life balance. Him having a full-time job in accounting and a part-time job in land survey drafting at night has been an amazing blessing financially, but it leaves us with very little time to spend together. Thankfully, he will be greatly cutting back his hours at his part-time job, but he is also gearing up for another tax season ....hence me becoming what they call in the accounting industry as a "tax widow". So all that to say I am looking forward to the end of April when we plan to take a babymoon (a 2nd honeymoon-type trip before the baby comes).
Sooo many people have been so kind in asking how I am feeling...well... I am usually feeling great! Exhausted....but great! The nausea has mostly gone away! THOUGH I will say the food aversions are as bad as they have ever been and smells of meat and garlic still make me lose my cookies. The other day I bought Jamie a can of chicken noodle soup because he was sick, but when he opened it in the kitchen it sent me into a vomiting spell. Also a few weeks ago, I told Jamie to bring home Boston Market, because I knew that I needed some protein, but the smell of that even coming into the house make me violently sick for several hours. So there was poor Jamie eating the Boston Market chicken out under the freezing cold carport...poor guy!!! When we went to go see my family for Christmas, they were gracious enough to have a meat-free house. BUT as long as I stay far away from meat and cooking meat, I feel good. Pregnancy is so crazy! I am still getting frequent migraines, but that is just normal for me and I deal with them the best that I can.
My body is really starting to change and even though I still haven't gained any weight according to the scale, my bump is definitely growing. In the middle of the night if I switch from sleeping on one side to another I can feel the baby tumbling around to settle on the other side. So cool! The miracle of children just amazes me more and more everyday!
Stay tuned for an upcoming announcement on the baby's gender! We can't wait to share!!!
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
14 Week Update + The Big Reveal to Jamie
So today, I am 14 weeks preggo and I am officially starting my second trimester! Man that feels crazy to say! The past few weeks have included some hard days, but every day it seems like the painful heartbreak of losing baby Riley is getting more and more healed. However, I know the pain will never completely fade away and, truthfully, I don't think I ever want it to. Riley will always have a piece of my heart and I long for the day when I get to meet him or her in heaven.
For several weeks, I struggled with pretty bad nausea and migraines. I remember hearing women complain about their first trimester and I would think "What? Don't you know how crazy blessed you are to even be pregnant? I wish I was pregnant and feeling all of those things." I swear God has a sense of humor because I think his response was "Don't worry I will make sure you get to experience ALL of those things too." Thinking about this really makes me chuckle. One night I had an exorcist moment in the living room...you know where her head spins around then and she projectile vomits...Sorry too much info? Thankfully, Jamie woke up and took good care of me. Another night I just was so sick and I spent several hours sitting in an empty bathtub because I was so afraid that I wasn't going to make it to the bathroom to throw up. My gag reflex would go into overdrive at the weirdest moments...like eating peanut M&Ms....seriously? Peanut M&Ms are yummy! Or I would take a bite of something simple like a cracker or a banana, chew, and think..."can I swallow this?" In total, I ended up losing a couple of pounds during my first trimester, but I feel pretty sure I will be able to make up for this later.
The great news is that as I am bringing my first trimester to a close and the nausea is beginning to fade away. Though, I will say the food aversions are still really really bad. I feel like a picky little 3 year old eater. I am ecstatic that in my 12th week I got to feel some of the first movements of the baby. The first time felt like I got lightly tasered from inside my uterus 3 times quickly in a row, which some women and doctors say happens when the baby is kicking against either a nerve or the cervix. The second time it happened, it felt more like the normal flutters that most women get. I was really appreciative to get to experience these moments so early, especially since I really have a deep desire to bond with this sweet growing life in spite of the rocky start I have had to this pregnancy.
Jamie and I are hoping we can find out the sex of the baby right before we go up to visit my parents for Christmas. We have an appointment at Tiny Toes, a non-medical ultrasound office, where you can find out the sex of the baby a little earlier than waiting for the 20 week anatomy ultrasound. We will then do a fun gender reveal gift for my parents.
Speaking of reveals...I really want to share how I revealed to Jamie that we were pregnant. As some of you might recall from my previous posts, I found out late on a Thursday night in September that we were pregnant from an at home test. I just so happened to have the entire next day off to plan a grand reveal for Jamie, so after Jamie left for work on Friday, I ran over to a close friends (Emily Trader's) house to tell her the news and my grand scheme. I wanted Jamie to come home to a beautiful picnic set out in the yard and to give him a wrapped up box with a onsie in it. Back in April, I had this onsie custom printed by Circle Press Design, which is owned by my brother Matt and his friend Kyle in Richmond. Shameless plug for them..you can check them out here on Facebook or here on their website. Anywhooo...I had this onsie made back in April with the hope that one day I could give it to Jamie as a way to reveal we were either expecting or were selected to adopt a child. After hiding it in the closet for months, I was so glad that today was the day I could wrap it up and give it to him.
I know the positive line is really hard to see in the photo, but believe me it is there (and it continued to get darker every day).
After much running around, here are some pictures of the picnic that Jamie came home to ...complete with sparkling grape juice and white hydrangeas of course.
Jamie was so shocked and didn't suspect anything even after he saw the picnic all set up. He thought I was just being sweet. I had fibbed to him about when our blood test was, so he thought we still had at least another week until we would find out. I lied and told him the gift was because of all of his help with the Chic Chateau Showhouse and he actually believed me. His expression of pure shock when he found out we were pregnant....(tear)...so awesome. I have dreamed and hoped for that very moment for years and it was finally coming true. After that we both hugged and cried for a while. We kept looking at each other as we ate dinner and would just say over and over again "I can't believe we're pregnant."
We knew that we wanted to surprise my parents, so we drove the 5 hour trip to DC the following weekend, without telling them we were coming, and showed up on their doorstep. That was a fun weekend to tell them and celebrate our big news!
On Monday, September 22nd, I walked into my blood test at my fertility practice with the biggest smile. I saw the doc and he said "how are you?" to which I replied "I am GREAT! (sounding like Tony the Tiger). After he walked by again, I grabbed him and told him we were pregnant. He said "I thought you were, but I didn't want to pry. Of all the couples, we were almost positive that you were going to get pregnant this month." My blood test confirmed what we already knew, which was that we were indeed pregnant.
Below is one of our cute ultrasound photos from our 13 week appointment. Baby Reynolds is waving hello to all of you! Till next time....
For several weeks, I struggled with pretty bad nausea and migraines. I remember hearing women complain about their first trimester and I would think "What? Don't you know how crazy blessed you are to even be pregnant? I wish I was pregnant and feeling all of those things." I swear God has a sense of humor because I think his response was "Don't worry I will make sure you get to experience ALL of those things too." Thinking about this really makes me chuckle. One night I had an exorcist moment in the living room...you know where her head spins around then and she projectile vomits...Sorry too much info? Thankfully, Jamie woke up and took good care of me. Another night I just was so sick and I spent several hours sitting in an empty bathtub because I was so afraid that I wasn't going to make it to the bathroom to throw up. My gag reflex would go into overdrive at the weirdest moments...like eating peanut M&Ms....seriously? Peanut M&Ms are yummy! Or I would take a bite of something simple like a cracker or a banana, chew, and think..."can I swallow this?" In total, I ended up losing a couple of pounds during my first trimester, but I feel pretty sure I will be able to make up for this later.
The great news is that as I am bringing my first trimester to a close and the nausea is beginning to fade away. Though, I will say the food aversions are still really really bad. I feel like a picky little 3 year old eater. I am ecstatic that in my 12th week I got to feel some of the first movements of the baby. The first time felt like I got lightly tasered from inside my uterus 3 times quickly in a row, which some women and doctors say happens when the baby is kicking against either a nerve or the cervix. The second time it happened, it felt more like the normal flutters that most women get. I was really appreciative to get to experience these moments so early, especially since I really have a deep desire to bond with this sweet growing life in spite of the rocky start I have had to this pregnancy.
Jamie and I are hoping we can find out the sex of the baby right before we go up to visit my parents for Christmas. We have an appointment at Tiny Toes, a non-medical ultrasound office, where you can find out the sex of the baby a little earlier than waiting for the 20 week anatomy ultrasound. We will then do a fun gender reveal gift for my parents.
Speaking of reveals...I really want to share how I revealed to Jamie that we were pregnant. As some of you might recall from my previous posts, I found out late on a Thursday night in September that we were pregnant from an at home test. I just so happened to have the entire next day off to plan a grand reveal for Jamie, so after Jamie left for work on Friday, I ran over to a close friends (Emily Trader's) house to tell her the news and my grand scheme. I wanted Jamie to come home to a beautiful picnic set out in the yard and to give him a wrapped up box with a onsie in it. Back in April, I had this onsie custom printed by Circle Press Design, which is owned by my brother Matt and his friend Kyle in Richmond. Shameless plug for them..you can check them out here on Facebook or here on their website. Anywhooo...I had this onsie made back in April with the hope that one day I could give it to Jamie as a way to reveal we were either expecting or were selected to adopt a child. After hiding it in the closet for months, I was so glad that today was the day I could wrap it up and give it to him.
I know the positive line is really hard to see in the photo, but believe me it is there (and it continued to get darker every day).
After much running around, here are some pictures of the picnic that Jamie came home to ...complete with sparkling grape juice and white hydrangeas of course.
Jamie was so shocked and didn't suspect anything even after he saw the picnic all set up. He thought I was just being sweet. I had fibbed to him about when our blood test was, so he thought we still had at least another week until we would find out. I lied and told him the gift was because of all of his help with the Chic Chateau Showhouse and he actually believed me. His expression of pure shock when he found out we were pregnant....(tear)...so awesome. I have dreamed and hoped for that very moment for years and it was finally coming true. After that we both hugged and cried for a while. We kept looking at each other as we ate dinner and would just say over and over again "I can't believe we're pregnant."
On Monday, September 22nd, I walked into my blood test at my fertility practice with the biggest smile. I saw the doc and he said "how are you?" to which I replied "I am GREAT! (sounding like Tony the Tiger). After he walked by again, I grabbed him and told him we were pregnant. He said "I thought you were, but I didn't want to pry. Of all the couples, we were almost positive that you were going to get pregnant this month." My blood test confirmed what we already knew, which was that we were indeed pregnant.
Below is one of our cute ultrasound photos from our 13 week appointment. Baby Reynolds is waving hello to all of you! Till next time....
Friday, November 7, 2014
The Truth About This Pregnancy & Our Loss Of A Child
Let me first say this is not the Part 3 blog that I wrote and wanted to share. This is.....hard to share and not the way I wanted this part of our journey to be. As I write this I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest. At 6 weeks and 6 days pregnant, Jamie and I found out that our dreams were coming true and we were pregnant with twins. We were so excited! As we heard both of our babies hearts beating, I broke down with thanksgiving. Having twins had always been a deep desire in our hearts and we celebrated the news with so much joy and many happy phone calls to people. On our 5 year anniversary trip to Bryson City, NC, we shared the news of our pregnancy on Facebook, which was so much fun and we were overwhelmed with support. We decided not to share our news quite yet about the twins. We figured we would wait to share that news a little later.
Over the next two weeks, we talked to the babies, did research on double strollers, got great advice from people who have had twins, and were excited for our due date to be moved up from June 2nd to May 11th, since twins come around 36 weeks instead of the normal 40/41 with a singleton pregnancy.
Unfortunately, a lot of that joy and excitement was put on hold at our 9 week ultrasound, when something right away seemed off. The tech was very quiet and said she didn't like how one of the babies was looking. Tears started immediately falling down my face and Jamie and I were holding hands so tightly as we waited for her to keep looking. We could see both gestational sacs, but could not make out a clear outline of the baby in the sac she was looking at. Then she broke the news that "Baby B died." It felt like a bomb exploded in the room. No words can explain the sadness as I laid there feeling helpless.
The tech showed us "Baby A" and let us know that baby was looking very healthy and had good a heart rate (in the 170s). I think the tech felt so bad that she turned on the 4D ultrasound so we could see and bond with the baby we still had with us. After she left the room, Jamie and I had a good cry before going to talk to my new ob doctor, which I still hadn't met yet, about the loss. When she came in the room she showed so much compassion for us and talked about her own loss of a baby in her first trimester and how hard it was. She even said "you have a child in heaven." Wow! I cannot tell you how glad I was at that moment that I had done my research and switched to her from my last ob/gyn. She reassured me that this was something completely out of my hands and not caused by anything that I did. Because our next ultrasound wasn't scheduled for another month, she said "I don't want you to have any extra stress worrying for a whole month in between ultrasounds, so I am going to have you come back for another one in two weeks."
That night and the rest of that week was really hard. In my dreams when I slept, all I could hear was "Baby B died" in the exact voice of our ultrasound tech. The one thing that has brought us so much comfort is prayer and worship. The morning after hearing about our loss, I listened to worship music and praised God for His goodness because even though I was hurting and sad I "...do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Even though I was heartbroken, God had still sent His Son Jesus to be brutally crucified for me and this loss didn't change that fact.
Jamie and I decided that we didn't want to miss any work and that work might be a good distraction for us. Somehow we were given enough strength to get through those first few days at work (even with lots of nausea from the baby I am still carrying), but in the evenings we would spend time comforting each other, grieving, letting the emotions flow, and the sadness made us physically exhausted. We prayed and continue to pray for the baby we still have with us.
Part of me felt really cold for going back to work right away, but I was reminded of 2 Samuel 12:15-23 when King David's learns about his child's death (after he had been mourning, praying & fasting for days) he immediately gets up and resumes his normal activities. His servants couldn't believe it and thought he was heartless, but essentially talks about going to be with his child in heaven one day and the peace that brought him.
Jamie and I named the child that we have in heaven Riley, since we don't know if it was a boy or a girl. The truth is after so many years of infertility, it just didn't seem fair to have to go through this. It downright sucked and it still sucks. Sometimes that is just comforting in and of itself to acknowledge.
Thankfully, I am still very pregnant with one child, though I am still in my first trimester and praying for their health. During a 10 week appointment, they tried checking heartbeat which they eventually found through another very very quick ultrasound. I could clearly see Baby A dancing on the screen and everything seemed good. Sadly, I can still see Baby B's body right next to them, but with no heartbeat. Jamie and I are trying to emotionally prepare ourselves to be happy and sad at every ultrasound because we will see Baby A and Baby B. The medical term for this is "Vanishing Twin Syndrome" and likely my body will reabsorb Baby B's body since it was so small when it died.
I have a bunch of fears at this point. My first fear is that Baby A will pass away too. Secondly, I am worried about bonding with the baby we still have and being able to enjoy the pregnancy I do have. It may seem odd, but I feel emotionally closer to Riley because they have a name and I can picture them up in heaven on Jesus' lap...maybe even playing an instrument for Him if they inherited their daddy's musical gifts. (tear) Lastly, I am fearful about all of the emotional grenades that will go off - the May 11th twins due date, the odd and sometimes unintentionally hurtful things people will say, the shame I feel about crying in front of people, and one day telling this baby about their twin brother or sister in heaven. These are the things I would really love some extra prayers about.
Thank you for letting me make this blog a place where I can be open and honest about what is going on in my life. Writing is extremely healing for me. Jamie and I know we are still extremely blessed to even be pregnant at all given all we have gone through to get here. My hope is that when I am feeling a little bit better emotionally and physically, I would love to share with you the pictures and story of how I revealed to Jamie that we are pregnant.
Over the next two weeks, we talked to the babies, did research on double strollers, got great advice from people who have had twins, and were excited for our due date to be moved up from June 2nd to May 11th, since twins come around 36 weeks instead of the normal 40/41 with a singleton pregnancy.
Unfortunately, a lot of that joy and excitement was put on hold at our 9 week ultrasound, when something right away seemed off. The tech was very quiet and said she didn't like how one of the babies was looking. Tears started immediately falling down my face and Jamie and I were holding hands so tightly as we waited for her to keep looking. We could see both gestational sacs, but could not make out a clear outline of the baby in the sac she was looking at. Then she broke the news that "Baby B died." It felt like a bomb exploded in the room. No words can explain the sadness as I laid there feeling helpless.
The tech showed us "Baby A" and let us know that baby was looking very healthy and had good a heart rate (in the 170s). I think the tech felt so bad that she turned on the 4D ultrasound so we could see and bond with the baby we still had with us. After she left the room, Jamie and I had a good cry before going to talk to my new ob doctor, which I still hadn't met yet, about the loss. When she came in the room she showed so much compassion for us and talked about her own loss of a baby in her first trimester and how hard it was. She even said "you have a child in heaven." Wow! I cannot tell you how glad I was at that moment that I had done my research and switched to her from my last ob/gyn. She reassured me that this was something completely out of my hands and not caused by anything that I did. Because our next ultrasound wasn't scheduled for another month, she said "I don't want you to have any extra stress worrying for a whole month in between ultrasounds, so I am going to have you come back for another one in two weeks."
That night and the rest of that week was really hard. In my dreams when I slept, all I could hear was "Baby B died" in the exact voice of our ultrasound tech. The one thing that has brought us so much comfort is prayer and worship. The morning after hearing about our loss, I listened to worship music and praised God for His goodness because even though I was hurting and sad I "...do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Even though I was heartbroken, God had still sent His Son Jesus to be brutally crucified for me and this loss didn't change that fact.
Jamie and I decided that we didn't want to miss any work and that work might be a good distraction for us. Somehow we were given enough strength to get through those first few days at work (even with lots of nausea from the baby I am still carrying), but in the evenings we would spend time comforting each other, grieving, letting the emotions flow, and the sadness made us physically exhausted. We prayed and continue to pray for the baby we still have with us.
Part of me felt really cold for going back to work right away, but I was reminded of 2 Samuel 12:15-23 when King David's learns about his child's death (after he had been mourning, praying & fasting for days) he immediately gets up and resumes his normal activities. His servants couldn't believe it and thought he was heartless, but essentially talks about going to be with his child in heaven one day and the peace that brought him.
Jamie and I named the child that we have in heaven Riley, since we don't know if it was a boy or a girl. The truth is after so many years of infertility, it just didn't seem fair to have to go through this. It downright sucked and it still sucks. Sometimes that is just comforting in and of itself to acknowledge.
Thankfully, I am still very pregnant with one child, though I am still in my first trimester and praying for their health. During a 10 week appointment, they tried checking heartbeat which they eventually found through another very very quick ultrasound. I could clearly see Baby A dancing on the screen and everything seemed good. Sadly, I can still see Baby B's body right next to them, but with no heartbeat. Jamie and I are trying to emotionally prepare ourselves to be happy and sad at every ultrasound because we will see Baby A and Baby B. The medical term for this is "Vanishing Twin Syndrome" and likely my body will reabsorb Baby B's body since it was so small when it died.
I have a bunch of fears at this point. My first fear is that Baby A will pass away too. Secondly, I am worried about bonding with the baby we still have and being able to enjoy the pregnancy I do have. It may seem odd, but I feel emotionally closer to Riley because they have a name and I can picture them up in heaven on Jesus' lap...maybe even playing an instrument for Him if they inherited their daddy's musical gifts. (tear) Lastly, I am fearful about all of the emotional grenades that will go off - the May 11th twins due date, the odd and sometimes unintentionally hurtful things people will say, the shame I feel about crying in front of people, and one day telling this baby about their twin brother or sister in heaven. These are the things I would really love some extra prayers about.
Thank you for letting me make this blog a place where I can be open and honest about what is going on in my life. Writing is extremely healing for me. Jamie and I know we are still extremely blessed to even be pregnant at all given all we have gone through to get here. My hope is that when I am feeling a little bit better emotionally and physically, I would love to share with you the pictures and story of how I revealed to Jamie that we are pregnant.
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